I believe crying is a doorway to intimacy, once it is open the other person can walk in and see who we really are — a perfectly messy and beautiful expression of human love. Besides, sadness — like happiness and every other emotion -is purely energy that needs to move.
Men who lead with vulnerability are an example to others that its safe to do the same. At the end of the day we all want to feel seen, heard, understood and loved for all that we are. What a gift. I have always felt deeply and had big emotions, which I have definitely sub-consciously associated with being a woman. To see my partner break down and cry has always been a reminder that he feels just as deep as I do. My wish is to hold space for him, in the best way that I know how. To show my partner it is safe for him to express the depths of his sadness when it needs to come up.
The idea that, that is what can be associated with men who express their emotions makes me sad and frustrated, because I believe it to be the exact opposite.
When men cry, I only see strength and bravery. An almost instant removal of all story- past, present, future It draws me to the now moment, where all we have is our two beating hearts… together. But tears are a release of built up energy… they are a surrender.. As a woman who naturally holds myself when I cry… and often… I find great service and pleasure in giving that level of resonant love and nourishment to my man.
At the time, I was also extremely uncomfortable with displaying my own emotions. I constantly was trying to prove I was just as tough as them, just as cool as them, and I used to sit there and pinch myself to keep from crying. From then all the way through high school I valued my male friendships much more than I did my female ones.
It took trauma plus a friendship with a very emotional roommate to make me start to become more comfortable with my own emotions. I think I had and still have, in some ways a lot of internalized sexism, and I emasculated men pretty often.
Years ago, before I had ever really thought about any of these things, I broke up with my boyfriend and he completely broke down in tears.
Like, a sobbing, inconsolable, snotty mess. Now baby here's the door I don't need no aggravation I've got a long way to go baby Woman don't you cry for me. Please click here if you are not redirected within a few seconds.